Snape's Hair
by Crystal56
Summary: Snape washing his hair? Oh my god! And he's going where to do it? Read and Review! And please, NO FLAMES! Chapter 6 is up!
1. Snape begins his Vacation

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter  
  
Snape gets his hair washed  
  
A humorous story... for all ages...  
  
"Well," Severus Snape said, leaning back on his chair, "It's finally the end of the year, and I must wash my hair." You see, he promised Dumbledore to do it once a year at the least, so he always did it as soon as all the students had gone home for the year. Severus wondered if he shouldn't get the split ends fixed as well, but then thought against it.  
  
"This time... I think I'll make a day of it. Go to the spa, relax, and get my hair washed. If Potter keeps acting like he did this year, I'll either be washing gray hair next year or I'll have little to no hair at all. Fancy that," he continued, while packing his bag, "If I had no hair, would I scare them more?" He pondered this for a moment before brushing the thought aside. He finished packing and headed out of the door. "Well, I guess I better catch the next train. But where is the best Spa?" he asked himself, then grinned, "Oh, there's one..."  
  
TBC  
  
A/N: I hope I am considered cruel... Forcing Snape to wash his hair... Well? Read and Review! 


	2. Hermione's Horrifying Discovery

A/N: I think I missed putting up the "to be continued sign" up on that chapter... I only used it to grab your attention, because I am making a story out of this. I'm going to have him at the spa, mud bath and cucumber and everything else a spa has. I'm sorry to all my little flamers who thought it was dumb, but the number of people who actually liked it outnumber you... so I'm gonna continue and hope I get more reviews. 19 chapters in one day is an amazing feat for me... I can say I'm so proud that all took the time to read the 209 (somewhere around that) words that I bothered to post.  
  
Oh yeah and if I use *blah* his thoughts are visible to the reader...  
  
Starhawk9: Yes, the hair is black. I like it like that... ^_^  
  
Rockluver: Yes, there will be more  
  
A.Person: Yes... people will be walking in on him... ^_^ but who? Read to find out  
  
Leha: It's kind of supposed to seem very childish... because Dumbledore has forced him to do it since Severus started to actually go to Hogwarts School...  
  
And to all my other reviewers... thanks for reviewing... I love you all! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Snape... or the spa... (I wish... I'd go there a lot!)  
  
A startling discovery  
  
Severus Snape decided to go to a spa in Spain, known as the Ecologic Natural Spa. It seemed harmless enough. He received his tourist information, even though he didn't need it... because he was only going for one day... and flipped through the pamphlet as the airline he was on headed towards his destination.  
"I think it was a good idea to make a day of this," he said, "I have so much stress." The airline pilot came on, just to say they would be arriving in Italy in 15 minutes. Severus grinned in his usual evil way. No students to bother him and a day to himself... it would be perfect.  
  
~*~  
  
The spa owner greeted him the morning he came into the actual building. He had stayed overnight at a hotel because by the time he arrived it would be too late to do much in the spa. He handed in the form of what he wanted to do, all leading up to the final touch of actually washing his hair.  
"So, the mud bath first? Excellent choice sir, now, if you would follow me," the owner said, and then led him to one of the attendants, who took him to where the mud baths were. Well, he changed into a robe that the attendant provided (A/N: just for one of my reviewers, you may think of it as pink... offhandedly, I will not give it a color...) and then was taken to his own private bath. It wasn't entirely private, it was a room with other baths in it, but they were individual tubs. Severus took of his robe (A/N: he has a swimsuit on) and settled into the mud. He was given a black mask to place over his eyes if he wanted and the attendant left him to his mud. He settled into it nicely and placed the mask over his face. There weren't many people here yet, and that was good. The thought of *what would I do if someone caught me here?* didn't even run through his head.  
"Right this way Miss Granger your bath is over here," came an attendant. Miss... Granger? *Oh no, no, not her!* He lifted the mask from his face and saw Miss Hermione Granger with her bathrobe walking into the room. But... as she looked around, she caught his gaze, and froze. Her mouth moved wordlessly as she saw her professor, Severus Snape, a man she hopefully hated... Imagine, meeting a teacher you despised in a place meant for relaxation...  
"Um... I... thi...think... I want... to do something... else first..." Hermione stuttered out to her attendant. Snape kept his eye fixed upon her in an angry gaze and she shifted uncomfortably in the spot where she stood.  
"That would be fine," said the attendant, "Where would you like to go?" Hermione held her horrified gaze.  
"Anywhere but here," she said, and quickly exited the room, muttering, "Ahem... good to see you Professor..." Severus didn't expect her to acknowledge him, and he prayed now that she wasn't here with her little group of friends. He relaxed once again into the mud bath and covered his eyes. He suspected her horrified look came from realizing people only wore underwear of sorts while in these sorts of things. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad day. He thinks he scarred one student, but if more come and he can petrify them for life? Well, that just made his day... his spa day was looking better already...  
  
TBC  
  
A/N: I think that chapter was a little weak, but... other things will happen... I hope you stay tuned! 


	3. The Weasly Twins and the Sauna

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... DUH!  
  
A/N: I meant this to be a funny little story I did in my free time, no plot and Snape was supposed to be totally out of character because of the facts... 1: This is my story 2: This isn't during school time; no one really knows what teachers do over the summer (most of the time) 3: Because I can  
I only meant this to be funny; I did it when I was bored, so please stop telling me Snape is out of character and stuff like that. Keep insulting this and you won't get to the ending that I can promise... So... anyways, move on with the show, and thank you for reading anyways... (This was just meant for all flamers...mostly...) Oh, if you think the rating needs to go from PG to PG-13, let me know in this chapter. This is the only chapter that is like this.  
  
Chapter 3: The Weasly Twins and the sauna!  
  
Severus was able to finish his mud bath in peace. No one else had decided to interrupt him, so he figured to himself to go to the sauna next. He had heard somewhere that the sauna's steam cleansed your soul and such, but he never really put it to the test, that is, until now. He cleaned off the mud and wrapped and towel around his waist and headed in the direction of the sauna. He arrived at the door and opened it up, getting his first burst of warm steam.  
"Hurry up blunder head, before all the steam gets out. Get in and close the door!" a voice called out to him.  
"Or get out and leave," a very similar voice added. No, no, no, this couldn't be... them... Severus stepped in and shut the door and made his way to a bench. He began to scan the room to see where the two voices had come from... and he groaned. It was THEM! The Weasly twins, who made his life hell when they could.  
"#$%," he muttered under his breath. Why him? Why on this day? What has he done to deserve this?  
"Oh, Professor Snape, it's you!" one of them exclaimed. Snape glared across the steam and met the familiar Weasly eyes and the all too familiar red Weasly hair. Snape said nothing, he remained silent, hoping, praying they would go away. What was worse, their towels weren't white, they were red. No, no, what was worse, worse that that, they could see the color of his towel...  
"I thought I'd never see the day when Professor Snape had on that kind of a color, even if it is just a towel!" one of them hollered. Which one was which? It was very difficult to tell with all the smoke. He assumed there were other people in here, trying to ignore the twins... and him... but as far as he could tell, no one else was in his range of vision, except them.  
"So, what's a professor of potions doing here?" one asked.  
"I could ask you the same question," Severus sneered at them.  
"Hermione took all of us for a day. Her parents have a permanent membership here, and in other spas too, depending on where they go for the summer, so she decided to invite the Weasly family, oh, and HARRY is here too," one said, "Isn't he Fred?"  
"Most definitely George, however, I think our dear Professor here is helpless. Can't give detentions unless its school and he can't deduct points either!" Fred replied.  
"You two better wait until the school year comes," Severus muttered, "Your detentions are going to be the worst nightmares you can imagine."  
"You surely can't hold this over our head..." Fred said, "At least for a while."  
"And why not?" Severus Snape asked, glaring at the twins.  
"Because you don't want us telling everyone else you were here!" They chortled in unison. Snape's eyes widened as he realized that it was true. He couldn't hold anything over their heads, lest he be embarrassed and loose all respect he had in the school... well, not respect, but people wouldn't fear him anymore.  
"..." Snape didn't reply to them. All he could think of was, just ignore them, just ignore them... it wasn't as bad as it could be...  
"Oy! Harry!" Fred yelled from his bench. That was it, Snape stood up and walked out the door, he wasn't about to put up with that Gryffindor brat if he could help it... The last thing he heard as the door slammed was Fred and George Weasly laughing as hard as they could. Snape growled... his day was going to be in ruins. He better choose a peaceful, single activity now, and hope he didn't bump into anyone else.  
  
A/N: Yea, a little longer... So, like it? Hate it? What do you think? If you absolutely must flame me, keep any and all flames G-PG rated please. And hey, if you like this story, try checking out these...  
  
Everlasting Sacrifice (mine) (My favorite romance story to write... so deep)  
Harry's contacts (Mine) (Harry gets contacts)  
Evil for Dummies (Mine) (Snape gets a book... and reads it...)  
"The Shower Incident" by Ivory tower (Snape in the shower)  
"Harry Potter and the shoddy workmanship of the EA" by Arc/Harry (Game sort of thing)  
"Vindication" by Ran-Chan2 (Really deep and really awsome!)  
"Yugioh does Harry Potter" by Mijikai (Funny)  
"Hogwarts Idol" by Hermione-Personality (Oh, c'mon, who doesn't want to hear Snape sing Genie in a Bottle)  
What if? (Mine) (Song fictions on the loss of a girl)  
  
Read these authors Cassie Angelica, Falling Ice Star, Lady Mac, Ivory Tower, Phantasia  
  
Trust me, it's all very good stuff! (And most are slightly better written than this story...) Check them out! 


	4. Lunch with a Weasly

Disclaimer: I don't own Snape's hair. If I did, I would wash it and cut it and then lock Snape in a room with me...oh wait, you didn't want to know that, did you?

A/N: If it seems OOC to you, it is. Thanks for all reviewers for the previous chapter!

Chapter 4: **Lunch with a Weasly**

Snape decided he'd prefer to eat rather than onto the next stage in his day at the spa. The spa resort itself had some sandwich shops to visit, so Snape picked one and headed towards it.

"If I run into another Weasly, Granger or even that blasted Potter I swear..."

"Hello Severus!" an overly cheerful voice greeted and Snape let out a groan. His day here was cursed...he just knew it. The fates were conspiring against him.

"Molly Weasly!" he greeted falsely, "What brings you here?"

"Arthur won spa tickets so we took the entire family for today," she said smiling brightly at him, "Are you eating lunch? We could eat together!" Severus sighed. He knew there would be no way to get this blasted cheerful woman to eat elsewhere. They headed into the shop and went up to the counter.

"I'll have a chicken salad with grapes sandwich," Molly ordered, "And a lemonade." She paid for her meal, and Snape continued to look over the menu. Molly got a table and placed her number in front of her. Hermione had informed her how this sort of place worked, so she felt fully prepared.

"I'll have...a roast beef sandwich with onions," Severus ordered, "And tea."

"Hot tea or iced tea?" the waitress asked.

"Hot tea of course," Snape said, as if that were ridiculous to try to believe there was more than one kind of tea. Snape took his number and grudgingly sat across from Molly Weasly at the table. She talked and he was forced to listen.

"Arthur has been so overworked lately, the misuse of muggle artifacts is keeping him almost more that usual now, so when we found out we had won some spa tickets; everyone forced Arthur to take a vacation," she said. Snape let out a small groan, these Weaslys never learned to shut up, did they?

"Where's your husband now? Surely he'd be eating with you..." Snape said, trying to be polite. Actually, in a way, he had overheard once about Mrs. Weasly, she wasn't one to make cross. The rumor was that Remus Lupin accidentally said something; Snape thought he heard it was supposed to be a joke about work, and Mrs. Weasly mistook it for an insult and Lupin was literally taken apart by Mrs. Molly Weasly. Of course, once her anger had faded, she apologized, but it was too late because everyone knew about this and many feared her even to this day.

"Arthur? Oh you know him," she said cheerfully, "He won't eat until 1 o'clock. Its habit by now for him, so right now he's sitting in the hot tub with Charlie. Charlie and Bill are visiting this week, its wonderful they are, we hardly see them they are always so busy!" She stopped talking for a minute because their orders were being delivered. Snape had to admit, of all the people he'd run into in this spa, this was actually the least annoying...he thought.

"How interesting," Snape said and found that eating shut her up nicely until she was finished. Molly ate quickly however and she went right back to talking as Severus Snape at his sandwich as fast as he could bring himself to.

"Did you know Charlie just recently helped hatch a Hungarian Horntail? The reason being is they had received a mysterious egg when Charlie was working and he took it upon himself to hatch the egg and see what it was. Of course he had to be careful and all, no one knew what the egg was, it didn't have any distinct markings and it was rather large for a normal egg," Molly said, "But oh, Charlie wrote us the longest letter describing the hatching and I couldn't be prouder!"

"Intriguing," Severus said and sipped his tea, cautiously glancing around to make sure no muggle was listening, but the sandwich shop was basically empty, save for the workers.

"And then Bill found this one piece of treasure for Gringots Bank, and they let him keep it! It was just a small ring so Bill was considering giving it to whichever girl stole his heart," she said, almost dreamily, "And it was a very fancy ring. It didn't have a diamond though; it had a ruby with two small peals on either side of it. It was almost pure gold too. You know he asked me if he shouldn't sell it and put it into our family account, but I told him that was silly! He's an adult now and he should be able to do what he wants with the things he has. I of course told him we managed alright and we're happy with what we have, which we are and so Bill let the issue drop."

"Yes..." Severus Snape said absentmindedly. Molly looked at the clock in the back of the shop and let out a gasp.

"I'm going to be late!" she said and stood up, taking her tray to the counter where she put the dirty dishes.

"However so?" Snape asked with false concern.

"My mud bath is in a few minutes, I must be off!" she said and headed for the exit, "It was a pleasure to see you again Severus! Have a good school year if I don't see you later, alright?" Severus pretending to wave her off and as soon as she was out of sight he turned back to his sandwich. By Merlin that woman was the most annoying of them all, almost worse than Miss Granger in some respects. Severus Snape growled a bit, he'd end up running into everyone today, wouldn't he...

**TBC**

A/N: I know it wasn't as funny as the others but I wanted to give a short interval and such and make sure people still cared...AH, besides, I had writer's block. Sorry for the OOCness.

Please don't flame this chapter unless it's rated G-PG. C ya around!

**Check out Everlasting Sacrifice please, it's the best of all my HP stories here, and I'd be honored if you did, PLEASE??? (And review it too...please!)**


	5. Harry's Discovery part one

Disclaimer: I don't own Snape...I wish I did, but I don't!

A/N: Last chapter before the ending. I'm getting a little tired of this story and I want to finish a lot of other stories that I have in the wings, so please understand. It's been a blast writing this and whether or not you liked it, you must have read it out of curiosity and that means something...

Oh, and the ratings going up because of this. It's kinda written fan service for Snape lovers... ...don't say I didn't warn you!

Snape's Hair

Harry's Discovery (shield your eyes! Dirty innuendo, but not really)

Severus was getting frustrated with running into everyone he tried so hard to avoid, so he decided against hitting the hot tub until tomorrow if he wanted to extend his vacation and skipped right to the part he had been dreading, the washing of his hair...

"I don't know why..." he said bitterly, "I promised Dumbledore..." The showers were empty thankfully and he was grateful for that. He had brought some shampoo and conditioner from home and he set them on a shower tray. He sighed, the water better be warm. He turned on the shower and the water grew warm and steam filled the room. Severus entered the shower in his swimsuit (he absolutely positively would not go in naked, at least not in a public shower) and got his hair wet. He picked up the shampoo, muttering resentfully and began to massage it into his hair. It wasn't so bad; it felt good against his scalp. Besides, the shampoo had a nice smell to it, (which Severus would make sure didn't exist when he was back at school) and the water was getting slightly hotter. He quickly fumbled with the knobs and changed it back to a nice warm flow and rinsed his hair out, being careful not to get any in his eyes.

He picked up the conditioner and poured some onto his hand. It was clear and he remembered last time he didn't realize he hadn't gotten it all out, since it didn't suds up like the shampoo did, so he promised to be more careful with it this time. He didn't have to scrub it into his scalp; he just scrubbed it into his hair gently. The conditioner had a slightly different smell than the shampoo did, but it didn't matter to Severus.

"Someone in here?" a voice asked and Snape froze. He had heard this voice before, too many times before! It was Mr. Harry Potter!

"..." Snape said nothing but he knew that his silence would do little as the steam rose from his showering stall.

"Who's in here?" Potter asked, "Ron, don't tell me you're in here playing a joke!" Snape began to rinse his hair as quickly as he could, trying his best to get all the conditioner out of it. He couldn't reach for his towel either, it was just outside the stall; he couldn't get it without Potter realizing it was him!

"Who's in here?" Potter asked again and Snape almost found it amusing for one moment, but the moment passed very quickly. Was the boy ever going to leave so he could get out of the showers unnoticed? His luck wasn't going to help him, was it...?

"..." Severus couldn't exactly figure out what to do. For all the time he's scared that boy out of his wits he's now afraid of being discovered! He sighed heavily, it was no use, and he wouldn't be getting out of there. If Potter already hadn't been told, he would be as soon as he left to find Miss Granger and the others. Severus Snape turned off the water and just reached his hand out to grab his towel and brought it in as quickly as possible, wrapping it around himself. He muttered a spell to dry his hair off as well.

"OH MY GOD!" Harry screamed and Snape groaned, "It's...PROFESSOR SNAPE!" He came out of the shower and towered over Harry. He was in the mind set that at least he should make Harry really scarred for life, but instead, once Harry saw him, he burst out laughing.

"What is it boy?" Snape sapped and Harry looked away and laughed some more.

"You....you..." he couldn't make out any of the words and then looked back only to see Severus Snape glaring death at him. Harry began to back away slowly and dried the tears of laughter from his eyes, still being cautious as he backed away.

"Get out of here POTTER!" Snape exclaimed and Harry made a mad dash for the exit.

"Professor, I never knew your hair actually had body to it!" he called over his shoulder and then let out an EEP of fear before getting out of the room.

"What in the name of Merlin did he mean by that?" Severus asked and made his way to a mirror. He stared in shock. What kind of shampoo had he grabbed? Or more than that, why didn't he let his hair dry naturally? He touched his hair in shock...it had...it had... It was...it looked...FLUFFY!

TBC

A/N: Like it? Hate it? I shall use all flames to roast my marshmallows just so you know...and I know for this entire story he's been a little OOC, but it's still funny, right? And don't say I didn't warn you! Review, it'll make me all happy inside!


	6. The end result of Harry's Discovery

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

A/N: I made it a goal to finish some of the stories I had started now, and here I am, finishing them just so I don't get people yelling at me to finish things! That and I have to finish some of the before I can start more of them…

**_Snape's Hair_**

****

_Headlines: **Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts gets caught washing his hair!**_

****

_ As of the second day of summer a startling discovery was made by none other than Harry Potter, the boy who lived._

_ "I didn't mean to walk into there; I wouldn't have if I had known someone was in there other than my friend whom I was looking for." He states as he stares at the wall, "It's something I will never forget." After a long pause and a look of horror upon the poor boy's face he continues his story._

_ "It was Professor Snape, that's who I saw in the shower. I didn't see much, just his head and hand as he was reaching for his towel…it was…" At this point in the interview the boy was too shaken up to talk so we took a break and waited for him to get over his shudders._

_ "His hair…was washed, I could tell because it didn't glimmer in the lights, reflecting like it did in the dungeons where he teaches. It was clean! I mean, we never see it clean! And more than that, it was…FUZZY!" he exclaimed. After hearing this, our team of reporters went to the scene of the crime, of course Professor Snape wasn't there but after tracking him down his hair hadn't changed and he barked at us and cursed us in various ways. (Picture to the right) Of course, we also tracked down from our sources that this man promised Dumbledore to wash it at least one time a year…and decided to make a day of it at a spa. How unfortunate for him._

_ Pardon us folks for this most biased article but it was so funny of a story it was a headliner because of our slow news day. Stay tuned for all follow-ups._

**_…_**

**__**

Severus Snape threw the Daily Profit down onto his coffee table.

"I am never doing that again…" he said glaring down at the picture and then back at his hair. He still couldn't find a potion or counter curse for what had happened and he was furious. He would never wash his hair again…it was supposed to be greasy and greasy it would remain. He was used to it and that was what he wanted. And furthermore, any more spa trips would be in a recluse area where no one could find him…anyone, not even Dumbledore…could find him. Of course, Dumbledore seemed to know everything…so Snape considered the possibility that Spas were off-limits for forever…

"I hate my hair," he grumbled, picking up a hand mirror. The shampoo he had used had an after effect he could have done without…it turned his hair to green…not just any green, bright neon green… If he finds out the twins had anything to do with it those Weaslys would be dead meat!

**_…_**

**__**

The Weasly twins peeked into Snape's house. They got his address from an unknown source but they were glad they had gotten it. George snapped a picture of Snape's neon green hair…this would make headlines tomorrow! The two boys ran off giggling to themselves into the moonlight. What trouble should they cause next?

**_THE END_**

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**_FIN_**

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**A/N: I know it sucks ending but at least I finished it. Review but don't flame…or flame. I don't care I just want to finish some of my stuff so I can move on to stories I want to focus on…like _Everlasting Sacrifice, Duel of Love, Broken Darkness and others stuff…_**

OWARI!


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